So I've recently discovered the term demisexual and I think it really works for me. Problem: I've only ever been sexually attracted to a friend I've known for eight years and (omg, I'm sorry, this sounds ridiculous) Tom Hiddleston. I don't want to invalidate other people's experiences and maybe I'm not demisexual after all, but that is the first label which seems to fit me and idk. Can I still identify as demisexual, even though I've obviously not formed any sort of deep emotional bond with him? from Anonymous
(same anon again) I’ve just thought about it some more and I think it might be purely aesthetic attraction? Or maybe sensual. It’s a lot more than I usually experience with other celebrities/people in general, so I could be confusing it with sexual attraction because of that. I can’t imagine myself actually doing anything sexual with him… Ahh, idk, everything is so confusing right now. :( Thank you so much for listening to my ramblings!
I think sometimes with celebrities, being attracted to them is almost like being attracted to a fictional character. Because they’re unattainable to us, we know a lot about them without actually knowing them personally, and it’s just easy to get obsessed with them, isn’t it?
Personally, I make jokes sometimes that my sexuality is more like “I’m asexual and I have no interest in having sex, but in an alternative universe where Tom Hiddleston as Loki is an actual person…”. You know, there are just things that make us question whether we’re asexual but then we realize, “wait, that’s not my real life though”.
Chances are, you will never be presented with the opportunity to have sex with Tom Hiddleston, so whether your attraction to him is aesthetic or sexual, it doesn’t really matter because it’s just not going to come up at any point. So don’t let that affect how you view your sexual orientation. You feel that demisexual is what fits you, so that’s what you are.
Besides, everybody experiences things their own way, and I would never tell somebody that they aren’t asexual just because they don’t experience it the exact same as me, so I don’t think you’re any less demisexual just because you’re attracted to Tom Hiddleston. And you could be right, it could very well be an aesthetic attraction (he is very good looking, after all) or even sensual attraction.
I hope this has helped a bit, though I think for the most part you worked a lot of that out for yourself. Sometimes putting things into words, or trying to explain them to somebody else, as you did in sending us a message, helps you to figure things out for yourself.